'and the heartache lives on....



left her thoughts ♥ 1:25:00 PM

Met Vivian this afternoon,
apparently she was supposed to shop for a handbag for a wedding dinner she'd be attending.
both of us went to cut our hair,trim eye brows..
she bought the Chaos dress i bought in August(the most blood boiling and heart broken thing).She bought the dress at 49 bucks,and i bought the same dress for 60 bucks..
beat that..i almost cried..
heh..
she got her bag..and i got even more..
bought a shoe,belt,sunglasses,present for shing yee..

after that met up with Lee Hong,Deborah,Lenny for a lil munch at Long Johns.
and went to sengkang to meet shing yee and gang for another round of munching!!!

man,i'm so gonna put on weight AGAIN..

i think i'm pretty much very happy recently,that y i've been eating so much...
=)
heh heh..

maybe its time to lose it once again..



i think the sun glass's too big.. heh...





left her thoughts ♥ 11:30:00 PM

been super busy..
don't even have time for myself..
urgh! packed everyday to the core..
sch ends at 5 everyday except fri,1pm..
mon after sch gotta rush to give tuition..till 8 plus pm..
too tired to do anythin..
tues after sch i have dance..
wed after sch rush to give tuition again.. till 8 plus..
same thing on thurs except i have dance too,might have to rush back to sch for training..
friday after sch,gotta give tuition..

sighsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.................

weekends,i gotta study and rush thru all my tutorials...



&^^%**...
suddenly,life is so meaningless.. =(
i want my personal space!!!...


managed to relax a lil yest after sch,which was at 6pm..
went town with emily...
ran around town to find her Guess wallet..
met grace,they both went to Iggy's birthday party..
cant go for any parties, not after 49 days..
met dexter,went Marche for dinner and caught a movie,-Black Dahlia-..
fascinating movie,with an unexpected twist in the plot.
enjoyed it pretty much..
and the company made it even more enjoyable,cos i have the squid with me..
heh heh heh...
reached home at 3am..
thanks dex for your company!!





emily's so pretty!!




gave tuition this mornin,
came home to sleep after tt..
dinner and went to grandma's place..
man,i miss my family,cousins,aunts..
nice to be back again ...
=)



left her thoughts ♥ 11:24:00 PM

Ode To The Nice Guys..


This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.



left her thoughts ♥ 10:32:00 PM

R a n d o m . T h o u g h t s...



deceit and lies..
the sins this world's made up of..
this is sad..


and i seriously detest people who lie to me...



left her thoughts ♥ 10:56:00 AM

In Loving Memory of my lovely grandmother..
The Lord brought her into his world on 19 October at 2.59am.

and i know you're in good hands ah po..
i just wished you had woken up and smile at us..
i want you to laugh at me everytime you talk to me because i couldnt understand you.
because i couldnt speak cantonese..
if only i had another chance to speak with you.

i'll miss your cooking,i'll miss your soups..
i'll miss holding your hand when we are out having dinner.
i'll miss putting food on your bowl,and you putting food on mine..
i'll miss this nervous feeling i get when i'm with you alone cos im always afraid that i couldnt reply.
i'll miss tryin to communicate with you but ending up running to my dad for help..
i'll miss you holding my hands, and telling me.."lei ho guai lei ho leng",and i'll smile..
cos thats the only sentence i understand..

ah po...
rest in peace...
i'm glad you left with a smile on your face..
and i'm sorry i wasnt there....

but,ah po..
i love you..



__________________________________________


been rushing to the hospital the last week..
because ah po was not well,she had an emergency op.
and since then,her condition only worsened..
but her suffering stopped..

havent been sleepin well,not at all.
just cant sleep.
spent my whole day after sch yest at the hospital..
didnt go to sch today cos i had to be at her wake.
its gonna be a tiring week





'where was he when i needed him? - no where...



left her thoughts ♥ 12:07:00 AM

Chasing Cars


We'll do it all, everything, on our own
We don't need anything or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world

I don't quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace to remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
I just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world



left her thoughts ♥ 12:21:00 AM

house cleaning today.
just washed the balcony and i hope its clean.
i'm now in the middle of cleaning my roomie.
found letters from the past,memories that've been long gone..
and memories i wanna let go,the little black box..

and i stumbled upon this letter.a letter of hope,love,encouragement and the will to live..
it was given to me when i was lying in hospital
he was a friend,a friend full of love and courage..
a person who gave a whole new meaning to life.
i truly belive that God sent him to speak to me,that was the time i was deeply troubled and decided to take my life..
he was so important,but sadly,he was forgotten...

and so,this post os dedicated to you..

this boy by the name of Benjiamin..
i don't know where you are now,if you're still alive or safely in God's palace..
i have no idea how to contact you..
but i really wanna thank you for taking the 1st step.

there i was lyin in bed,wondering why i didnt die..
and you came in with a smile on your face,sat by my side and talked to me..
and i learnt that you didnt have much time left...your kidney failed,and unless you found a suitable donor,you'll die..
and you were in hospital almost everyday because you had treatments which only helped a lil as it all depended on a new kidney..
you visited me everyday,keeping me company.. wrote letters to me..

this is what you wrote :
"I've been through many ups and downs,pain and loneliness.I've seen my friends suffering too,all because they were born different.And through all that,I still feel that God bringing ny problem of kidney failure upon me is a Blessing.Through i've experience the greatest miracle God has given me,my family and friends.They made me treasure life more.I had a friend who had cancer and passed away in front of me.I truly cried.I've never cried like that before.But 1 thing i've learnt from her was how brvely she endured and how strongly she embraced life."


thank you benji,wherever you are..
i really really hope that you're alive..
i truly admire you..

thank you for crossing my path..
and i do hope that maybe one day,i could see you and thank you..
i'm sorry i stopped writing to you in 2002..
if only i could write to you again.



Love,
Cheryl



left her thoughts ♥ 2:51:00 PM

Mos-ed last night..
picked dexter up from Nus and headed there.
my gosh,it was crowded to the core..
met grace there..
and unexpectedly..met many many others..
it was a pretty alright night..
drank my orange juice as usual and tt stupid dexter had to laugh at me and he ended up drinkin orange juice too! ..
but.. before we left,had a shot of tequila each..
=)




me and jeff..

me and dex..


i'm gonna give tuition at 2plus..
meeting sham and wan..and we'll arcade our hearts out!!!!!!
mwahahahaha....
and i'll shoot them down with the arcade guns...



left her thoughts ♥ 1:07:00 PM

seriously,how much hope can one put into a marriage?
even after starting a family..
the person you trust the most disappoints you..

and seriously,i somehow lost this respect i used to have for guys..
its happening too often now..

what is this world coming to?
couples cheating on one another..
husbands cheating on their wives..
wives having affairs..

a relationship has lost its meaning..
a marriage doesnt bind 2 people anymore..

tell me,why did God make Man for Women and vice versa....
maybe somewhere,something went really wrong...

its like a trend or something..

sighs...

and my hopes of having a 'perfect' boyfriend/husband is gone..
and it makes me stand strong on this decision of staying single.

maybe there isnt true love.
maybe love does not exist anymore..
cos love just isnt enough..



left her thoughts ♥ 1:33:00 PM

today's a very very unproductive day..
woke up @ 1pm and i was like omg!! tuition starts at 2.
didnt have anything to eat till 8 plus.
and i'm kinda hungry now.....
but its alright..
supposed to go MOS with bj..
but i think i'll give it a miss.
i don't dare to go clubbing with this hair.what if i get beaten up???
oh no..... -hides under the blanket-
i think i'm gonna dye my hair to brown.
the red is driving everyone mad..
me expecially.nono... my mum..
heh,i think its too red for my liking..

sch's reopening on mon.
i seriously do hope tt i'll do well this sem..
and i with the looonnnggg days in sch,i wont have much time for myelf.
i cant even give tuition anymore..
sighs.....
i seriously do dread this sem's timetable.its like workin hours and i'm not paid!!!!!
i'm payin instead!!... =(

not sure if i wanna sign up for BAZest and assist the secondary sch kids..
i feel its pretty dumb to a certain extent.
and considering it did take quite abit of my time stayin back in sch..
and those unhappy times i had with him..
BAZest was part of the reason..
oh well.......

maybe i do need something to look forward to to make my life a lil more interesting.
or else it'd be sch-home-sch-home-sch-home...
how No-Life can it be..
bleagh!



left her thoughts ♥ 12:42:00 AM

the photoshoot yest was awsome!!
other then the delayed photoshoot and the perspiring like crazy,the achin legs and neck..
it turned out well,better then expected..
=)
we had the photoshoot at tanjong pagar..
some back ally..
=)



me and carrie,doesnt she look gorgeous??



getting ready for the shoot..



while shooting..



shoot your hearts out..



man,my legs ache!!



touching up...



in between shots..



a shot i never knew when it was taken.



behind the scenes.. min and me..



emo shot!!..





my individual shot...




finally!! dinner!!!!!




carrie and mee..







and yes,my hair is all gone now....
byebye to my long hair!!..



left her thoughts ♥ 10:16:00 AM

alright,my hair's snipped off for the photoshoot tomorrow..
i seriously hope the photoshoot tomorrow's gonna be fine...
urgggg!!...
well,my hairs not quite done yet,i still have another colouring session!!..



byebye to my long hair...*sniffs*





well..




and here is the colours,not completed thou..




yep..this a a almost completed haircut for the photoshoot tomorrow..
-keeps fingers cross-



left her thoughts ♥ 11:07:00 PM

today's a pretty long day.
woke up at 6am,had tuition with that brat at 8am.
and i stormed off cause he made me blew my top.
was late for the dancesport course..
it was pretty fun,my gosh.. i think 2 hours to make up for the competition aint enough..
hahaha..

after the course we went to town..
the worst thing happened today...
i dared Shaun to eat a whole spoonful of wasabi rapped in ginger.
and in the end,shaun,raymond,jasmine and i had a spoonful of wasabi rapped in ginger.
we all dared each other....
omg. it was a teary-ful experience for me and jasmine..
heh hehheh.....
watched -You,Me and Dupree- at The Cathay....walked around town after the show..
wanted to go for dance,but wasnt told they were going to S&G to dance..
so i didnt have my dancing shoes with me.
it was a rather nice day today.




carrie,me,alicia and shaun at the back looking funny..





alicia and me...





and its us again.....





what do you expect??we were camera whoring!!!





carrie and meee!!



left her thoughts ♥ 12:54:00 AM

just came back home..
gave tuition in the afternoon,and met up with Sham and Wan at Ps,
caught -World Trade Centre-.
and headed down to The Cube as they were having a breakdancing competition.
coool place but the crowd wasnt good..
got lost after that heh heh..

tomorrow's gonna be a very early day for meee..



left her thoughts ♥ 2:57:00 AM

screw all men,young and old.
they're nothing but heart-breakers.

thank you for coming over.
but it made me realised.
men should never be trusted and they are selfish creatures.



left her thoughts ♥ 1:12:00 PM

Joke of the day...
bad bad bad engrish..





and some pretty screwed up english...




maybe you shouldnt chew what's in your mouth..






What a hell???





left her thoughts ♥ 9:07:00 PM

dance yest was superb!!!
jive all the way..
waltz is nothing without a partner who can lead..heh heh..
good work shaun!!!
and my other partner Jason is in china happily climbing mountains!
hurry hurry!!! come back quick...you've been missing alot!!!!

dexter picked me up from sch and we had dinner and he sent me home.
thanks dex!!
really nice talking to ya..
and i'm really sorry for all the trouble!!..

the photoshoot today is cancelled cos the sponsor(findmytop) for our clothes failed to deliver em today..
and i think Papergirl is gonna sponsor our clothes den..
and so the photoshoot is postponed to 9 oct..
=)
oh,and the mag we're doing the photoshoot for is -hair4me4you-
my hair's gonna be dyed Red and Orange and a new hairstyle for me!!
i just hope the hairstyle wont ruin my other photoshoot in sentosa...



left her thoughts ♥ 1:43:00 PM

you know camera whoring is my favourite past-time..
since i've been pretty bored recently..
i started my camera whoring again!!!!!..



some artistic shots.




the attitude?




emo!



another emo-ing..



there's more!!



=)




i lost quite abit of weight...
another 1 kg more and i'll finally get to my below 40 kg!!..
i wanna be 38 kg!!!!!!!
but for i should settle for 39!!..
am 40.5kg now..just a tiny winy bit more....
-keeps fingers cross-

oh,and i'm gonna have a photo shoot next wed @ sentosa..
=)
oh i cant wait...



ever since the hols started..
i've been superly busy...
my tuition takes up most of my time because of the odd timings,i cant do much stuff.
actually with tuition,half of my day is already burnt..

cant wait for my dance..!!
meeting carrie @ 2pm to buy her camera and we'll head for dance..
jive jive jive jive jive!!!!!!!

wed- i'll be givin tuition and have a photoshot,edwin's hair model..

thurs-tuition and dance..

fri-meetin sham and wan for a movie after my tuition..
i cant believe they're brothers..
they don't look alike..
and i think wan is pretty good lookin and sham looks like skip!!
maybe most malays do have this "common look" somehow..

sat-stay home!!!!!


next week..packed again...
urgh!



left her thoughts ♥ 10:53:00 AM

neighbours are the biggest gossip-pers...
URGG...


got my time table for next sem..
omg, 9am - 5 pm..
-pulls hair-..
my class chose a timetable tt is from 9am-5pm!
and emily's timetable is from 9am - 1pm..
urgg!!!!!
next sem's modules..
heavy heavy heavy!!!!!!!!
so i must study study study.....



left her thoughts ♥ 2:52:00 PM

and so i'm a heartless freak to everyone around me..



left her thoughts ♥ 2:18:00 AM

Human beings are complicated by nature and I wouldn't deny that.
You wouldn't believe my profession. But I have a strong passion for what I do.
I'm not a great dancer but dancing its one of my only burning passion in life that keeps me going. =)

A petite girl who loves to socialise and have tons of fun!
I'm patient but don't try to test the limits.
Well,as long as you are not a weirdo,you're most welcomed to join my social circle.
*cheerios!!